Family Vacations, Making Memories
by Stacey
In a couple of weeks my family will embark on our annual summer vacation to Cape Cod to visit my husband’s family. It’s always fun to see my in-laws and to spend time in a beautiful place, but it’s not a vacation like the ones we used to take. Just like at home, we still have to get up at the crack of dawn, make sure our kids are fed, napped, and entertained. By the end of each day, we’re beat.
According to this column in Newsweek, while family vacations may not be restorative and relaxing, they do play an important role in children’s lives.
Those were the vacations of my childhood—often a 1,500-mile drive between Minneapolis and Teaneck, N.J., to visit my mother’s family. There was no air conditioning. I hardly ever remember getting out of the car. Unencumbered by seat belts, my brother and I roamed into each other’s carefully guarded back-seat territory and bickered until one of our parents lost it. We stopped at motels with pools and ate “picnic” dinners in front of the TV. But they’re some of the best memories of my childhood. (”I don’t remember it quite so fondly,” says my mom.)
“What kids remember about their childhoods is not setting the table,” says Susan Rugh, author of Are We There Yet? The Golden Age of Family Vacations. “If you want your kids to have memories, you have to take them on vacation.”
It makes me glad to think that my kids will remember things like fishing with their grandfather, playing on the beach with their cousins, and eating lobster on the side porch with the entire family. That makes it worth the effort.
Do you enjoy your family vacations? What do you think your kids will remember most?
August 5th, 2008 at 9:28 am
First off, let me just tell you that I love this blog. I can’t remember if I’ve commented before or not. I’m not really a lurker, I just don’t comment unless I have something to say, and I’ve actually been wanting to tell you that for a while.
Okay, to the point: my children are 3 and 1, both boys. “Vacations” with them are a lot of work, and very exhausting. I declared a moratorium on flying with them after our Easter trip from Los Angeles to New Iberia, LA which almost destroyed us all.
One reason that trips with them are so difficult is that no location is as baby-proofed as our home. Coming back to the hotel or the friends’ home at the end of a long day of “fun” is not relaxing in any way. Getting the kids to sleep in a strange place takes longer, too. By the time my husband and I get to sleep, we are toast.
Having said that, I do agree that the point of a vacation, now that children are involved, is not for Mom and Dad to relax, but to create memories for the kids. We took them on a short drive to a friend’s vacation home in Lake Arrowhead, CA for two nights recently. They had a blast, and needless to say, the adults needed a vacation from our vacation. Going to work again seemed like a break! But we know that at least the older son will remember the weekend fondly.
And that is why we are driving up to Mammoth Lakes at the end of September for a weekend cabin stay and fishing trip. I tried to find the most child-friendly accommodations this time, and I will try to get extra sleep during the week before so that I will be ready for anything!
August 5th, 2008 at 11:01 am
One of the deals I made with myself when I decided to keep working full-time despite having young children was that we would take a lot of vacations. We have stuck to that, and the older the kids get (now 2 and almost 4), the easier traveling with them is getting. One thing I’m torn about - whether to go to the same place every summer, or try a new place each time. I grew up going to our family’s haven in a remote bay on the tip of Lake Huron in Ontario, Canada, and loved returning to the same place where the rocks, trees, and water was exactly the same as the year before - very grounding. But there are so many places I’ve been that I want to take my kids to and even more places I’m dying to go. Lately we’ve been trying new venues. I guess a balance of the two would be ideal, but our place in Canada is so far away it makes the most sense to spend a good chunk of time there.
I’ve also found vacationing with my parents works great. My mom and her husband came with us to Oregon in June, and we’re about to go to the Finger Lakes with my dad and his wife. Though neither set offers to babysit and let us go off kid-free as much I’d like, the extra hands and people to entertain my kids is fantastic. Happy travels, Stacey!
August 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
To KTP:
I’m glad you wrote and so glad you like the blog! The idea that you have to rest up before your family vacation makes me laugh, but I do think it’s worth it. Our kids have really gotten into camping this summer. We’ve had some really fun times being out in nature with them. It’s a huge effort to get ourselves out there (amazing how much crap it takes to pull off a weekend in the woods). I hope you have a great time on your trip in September!
To Julie:
I like your description of going to the same place every year. My family did that for a stretch - to this place in Vermont - and my sister and I were just emailing about our memories from those summer trips. I was laughing out loud at my desk. We went on a trip this past winter with my parents and it was great.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
we have decided to call them “trips” instead of vacations
somehow that manages our expectations in terms of just what the next adventure will bring
last summer we visited friends at lake chelan and just last week zara mentioned the swing they have in their yard
we were on the fence as to whether we would go back again this year, but after she mentioned the swing the decision had been made
it is so amazing and wonderful to be creating these memories already
thanks for the reminder fussbucket!
August 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Hi Stacey,
Nice post.
Obviously I’m down with the family trip thing
I’m also totally sympatico with the exhaustion factor. We woke up this morning to ANOTHER day of rain here in Vermont, so it’s been pretty interesting. The boys are being real troopers about it and we are having a great time.
The fun thing about this year is that it’s the first time my 6-year-old remembers things. So he’s always talking to his brother about how last summer we did such-and-such and it was really great.
Hope you guys have a great trip!
August 6th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Thanks Mara! I hope the weather clears in Vt. I love it there!
For those of you who may not know, Mara is the author of a blog called The Mother of All Trips. Check it out!